Cross-Country Conquistadors

The Absurd Story of the First Crossing of North America

In 1528, six hundred Spanish conquistadors left Cuba to look for gold and glory in La Florida. Eight years later, the expedition’s four survivors stumbled out of a desert in Southern Mexico.

$0.99 $4.99

Instant Delivery

What Amazon readers are saying...

Don Cruse
July 27, 2019
Read More
I really enjoy reading history books. I really enjoy Quentin Tarantino films. This read bridges those experiences for me. Can’t wait for more material.
Jessie Perkins
November 24, 2019
Read More
I have never found myself to be a fan of history or reading about it but with Tom's humor and writing style, he actually made it enjoyable! Keep doing what you're doing, Tom, and who knows, you may make a history nerd of me!
Steve Goslin
August 25, 2019
Read More
This was a great read! This book read with the historical rigor of David McCullough, the historical fancy of Erik Larson and the contemporary irreverent wit of David Wong. I expected a fun time and got more—a good bit of learning along the way.
Erin Renison
August 25, 2019
Read More
I truly enjoyed this book, as I normally do with any of Tom's books. I typically am not a non-fiction reader, but the story is greatly intriguing and Tom's added "millennial humor" made it even more enjoyable. Highly recommend!

Listen on iPhone or Android

It takes less than a minute to transfer a History, F*ck Yeah audiobook to your iPhone. Listen with iBooks or use my favorite free audiobook app!

When pillaging with the boys goes wrong…

Conquistador Pánfilo Nárvaez was convinced that an empire equal to that of the Aztecs lay waiting somewhere among the airbrushed t-shirts and Confederate flag belt buckles of Georgia.

Instead of a vast empire, Nárvaez and his men found a tribe of natives who had little patience for tourists. Riddled with arrows and slowly starving to death, the Spaniards made their way to the Gulf, where they built rafts and attempted to have a nice relaxing float back to Spanish civilization.

What followed instead was an unbelievable epoch spanning almost eight years: a small group of survivors endured years of slavery, peddled wares between warring tribes as traveling salespeople, and eventually stumbled into fame as celebrity faith healers—complete with an entourage of three thousand followers.

Before returning to the outer rim of Spanish Civilization, the group had managed to accomplish the first crossing of the entire continent of North America.

Told in a casual tone with splashes of modern humor, HISTORY, F*CK YEAH: Cross-Country Conquistadors is a true story of humbled conquerors and unbelievable perseverance.

The stories are real. The dialogue... not so much.


More from the History, F*ck Yeah Store

Cross-Country Conquistadors

$0.99 $4.99


fUck Yeah

Stories, Books, Audio

Loose lips sink ships. We hate spam and we’ll never share your data. 

Added to wishlist!